Nov. 24

Crap, I haven't blogged in two days. It's the first time I've ever skipped since I started, and not even just 1 day at that, TWO days!! Oh well. I didn't exercise on Saturday and ate too much... Sunday was a crazy day too, but I attempted CP2... my tummy hurt, though, and the light was beaming through the window into my face which made the entire experience unpleasant, so after about 10 minutes, I quit, lol...

Today's Workouts: Turbo Total Body Blast (60 minutes)

Breakfast: homemade (and sugar-free!) pancakes!!

Lunch:

Dinner:

Dessert/snacks:

Water:

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins:

Nov. 21 --

Hello!

Well, the scale said 133.4 today, the number is continuing to drop! I am also very sore today... normally the scale goes UP around this TOM... interesting. And I even ate a snickers bar, lol. Thing is, when I eat something like that, I work it into my calories. If I choose to eat a Snickers for dinner, I suffer the consequences.

Today, the consequences were waking up an hour later than usual, after having slept more than the recommended amount of sleep... I was so tired I went to bed early, around 9pm!! AND I MISSED THE OFFICE!!!!!! I realized this morning that I completely forgot to watch it. Ah, well, I will watch it online today.

Seeing more fine definition in the abs lately, it's getting me pumped!! I just got a new Ab DVD "Blast off the Belly Fat"... it has five 10-minute ab workouts on it. I haven't tried it yet. I'm scared, lol.

As soon as the scale reads 130, I will post new pictures. Including pics of my abs, lol :-)

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Today's Workouts: Punch, Kick, & Jam with weighted gloves... everything except the 4-minute band portion.

Breakfast: 1 banana before workout, after workout, 1 small chicken breast with olive tomato sauce, a smidge ricotta, a sprinkle of shredded mozzarella, and three turkey meatballs.

Lunch: big spinach leaf salad with southwestern dressing. four dark chocolate brownies. ouch. i know.

Dinner:

Dessert/snacks: after breakfast: ice cream sandwich... e.d. chocolate stick

Water: sooo hard to drink when its cold out, dude

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins:

"Something Beautiful"

I love love love this song... it meets me right where I am right now somehow. I'm done craving the "not good enough" and ready for something real.

I want to start it over
I want to start again
I want a new beginning
One without an end
I feel it inside
Calling out my name

It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful
Like a song that stirs in my head
Love will take us where
Something's beautiful

I've heard it in the silence
Seen it on a face
I've felt it in a long hour
Like a sweet embrace
I know this is true
It's calling out to me

It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful
Like a song that stirs in my head
Love will take us where
Something's beautiful

It's the child on her wedding day
It's the daddy that gives her away
Something beautiful
When we laugh so hard we cry
It's the love between you and I
Something beautiful

Nov. 20 -- Praise be, yo

On Tuesday, (this is actually what I wanted to post yesterday but did not)...but I wanted to say that I am convinced that the Bible is ALIVE and that God really speaks to you through it if you open your heart to it... by that I mean open it EXPECTING God to talk.

Tuesday, I was kinda busy and was feeling a little disconnected and uninspired for some reason, and was feeling guilty, AGAIN, for stuff that has happened. At the end of the day I realized I hadn't picked up my Bible, as I had been, since 5:30 in the morning. So as much as I wanted to go to bed, I opened it up to 1 Peter, which is what I'm currently reading with a friend of mine in Germany, and started reading... I got bounced to Isaiah 53, but my eyes fell on the page next to it, to Isaiah 55, in which I had circled verse 3, "Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life." ... I kept reading. "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," I read... "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine,"......."My ways and thoughts are higher than yours," God said to me through these verses.

This means a lot... in recent weeks I have slowly been realizing that I have spent a significant amount of time expecting God to bless me in a specific way... but I expected him to bless me in the way I had pictured in my head... BLIND, I was, indeed. I spend so much time searching for something specific, messing around, doing the wrong things, that I COMPLETELY MISS the gift God had set in front of me. This is relevant in many areas of my life right now; I can't even begin to list them! So my prayer lately has been that God help me think like Him better, instead of like I would like to think. My past essentially proves that I stink at thinking on my own, lol... I want to see people through His eyes, shed my old expectations and pre-programmed agendas and focus instead on what HE would want to bless me with, not what I find for myself, which, let's face it, hasn't been good stuff.

Now, though I feel like I'm getting yet another chance to do things the right way. Praise be, yo.

My eyes continued to drift... Isaiah 54:4.. "Fear not, you will no longer live in shame. Don't be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth."

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Weight loss news: I am down to a solid 134! Only 4 more lbs to go!!!

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Today's Workouts: CP remix w/ gloves + booty sculpt/abs w/ 8 & 5 lb weights

Breakfast: 1 banana before workout, after workout pita pizza with sundried tomato pesto (which has a lot of salt, i noticed today... better cut back!), part-skim ricotta, 4 small pepperonis, 5-6 sliced cherry tomatoes, sprinkle of mozzarella, oregano, garlic + spinach leaf salad w/ light Italian

Lunch: MAN i hate terribly today... the dentist visit depressed me a little... I couldn't eat my sandwich, so I had a box of Barnum's circus animal crackers instead... 240 calories

Dinner: the sandwich, once the numbness finally wore off... two thin slices salami, one whole wheat bagel (180 cal), 1 wedge laughing cow cheese with herbs, 1 slice havarti cheese (we're out of Gouda, dude-a)

Dessert/snacks: after breakfast, strawberry ice cream sandwich, and an entire snickers bar..... AHHHHHHHHH!

Water: so far so good

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins:

Nov. 19 -- down some...

I'M DOWN TO 134.4!!! 4.4 more lbs to 130! My original goal was to be AT 130 by December 1, but now that I see how hard it is for me to get the numbers to go down while I'm building muscle, I think I want to be there by December 31.

Today's Workouts: Kickin' Core CP (first 30 minutes) + 3T minus warmup + 20 minute workout minus warm up and cooldown + Kickin' Core fitness orb portion (last 15 minutes, minus pushups, LOL)

Breakfast: one banana before workout, after workout 1 cup black beans, 2/3 cup brown rice, pinch of shredded cheddar.

Lunch: pita pizza with sundried tomato pesto, part-skim ricotta, 5 small pepperonis, 6 sliced cherry tomatoes, sprinkle of mozzarella, garlic and oregano

Dinner: i think i had two "dinners" ... first was at 4:30pm, ate one slice mestemacher fitness bread with 2 slices thin salami, 1 slice gouda, with chive and onion cream cheese. second dinner was at like 8pm, was one $2.44 taco from Qdoba on campus, with grilled chicken, pico de gallo, lettuce, red onions, green peppers, a smidge of light sour cream on a small soft flour tortilla. sooooooo good!

Dessert/snacks: after breakfast a piece of extra dark chocolate (60 calories)... after lunch, ice cream sandwich

Water: on my way

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins: --

Nov. 18

Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

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Today's Workouts: Turbo....as usual, lol... my favorite, CP2 with weighted gloves. LOVE IT!

+ 2 mile Fast Start workout with Dad

Breakfast: banana before workout... directly after workout, two sugar-free oatmeal cookies (approx. 90 calories) later, a bowl of beans with rice and a smidge cheddar

Lunch: a bowl of beans with a smidge of cheddar + spinach leaf salad

Dinner: a fresco style steak burrito (yep, forgot my dinner for school...)

Dessert/snacks: ice cream sandwich after breakfast (hey I'd been up for 5 hours!) and probably too many reese's peanut butter chips... :::ashamed:::
+ one hot chocolate (80 cal)

Water: could have done better

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins: ---

Nov. 17 -- Blooming and Building My House

I have fallen in love with the following verse... its just so beautiful, inspiring, and strengthening!!!

"Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him." -- Colossians 2:6

I was thinking about it, and since it seems likely I'll end up in Germany again soon, it really does make the most sense to grow your roots into Jesus as opposed to the place you live or want to live. I get asked by others and myself a lot, which is your real home? Do you like Germany or Florida better? The fact of the matter is, if I refuse to let my roots grow into any place or anyone besides Jesus, it doesn't matter, because if I change locations, there is no "uprooting" of my soul. It sheds some new light on that saying, "Bloom where you are planted!" .... and it's a lot easier to bloom if you've already got your roots with you no matter where you go! Likewise, if I build my house on Him, the place I really live won't matter as much.

And now for some news on the bod, aka God's house!

Lately I haven't felt up to cranking out 90 minutes of exercise. It has seemed lately that one hour is enough, even 40 minutes. If I do 40 minutes and try really hard, I think it's just as good as doing 60 or 80 minutes when I'm already pretty tired.

Plus I now own four pairs of jeans in a size 4 and so I know it can't be just a fluke that ONE brand fits me in that size. The scale said 135 today, and I feel a little bit bloated, so I'm optimistic that perhaps I'm another pound or two closer to my goal. We'll know once the TOM is over; my weight seems more stable after that. For obvious reasons, lol :-)

I really want to focus a lot on building muscle, not that I get BIG, but that muscle chases out useless, shapeless fat. I am happy with the size that I am, I just want to be tighter. Even if that means not losing a single pound more :-) I mean that! I do think I could afford to lose a teeeeeny bit more on my butt, though, and an even teenier bit more on my stomach. I see definition in my abs that I have never ever seen before so I know all of these bootcamp abs workouts are working (plus, when I try a really tough ab workout for the first time and it makes me SCREAM from pain, the second time never hurts as bad :-))

I'm just working on building my house. I gotta take care of this gift, you know? Sure, it's on loan and we'll all get new bodies eventually... but I think of this way... if I borrow a book from the library, do I destroy it by letting it gather dust or sit out in the sun? Because something's on loan (that was purchased at a very high price, might I add), that should be a reason to want to take care of it and make sure it's in proper working condition for as long as possible.

So there you have it: build your house on HIM, and take care of the "other" house that you have been blessed with. I believe God is glorified when we take joy and [the good kind of] pride in being good shepherds of the gifts He gives us.

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Today's Workouts: everything except the cooldown on CP remix, 20 minutes of Lower Body jam (skipped floor work), then advanced Bootcamp abs (9 minutes)

walk strong w/ Dad, 2 lb weights

Breakfast: 1 banana and one oatmeal cookie before workout, after workout 3/4 cup black beans and they are so freaking delicious. 2/3 cup brown rice, 1 small sausage link + 8 oz. skim milk

Lunch: scoop of black beans, 1/2 cup brown rice, sprinkled with a pinch of shredded cheddar

Dinner: FFAF: "Food from a Friend" Hannah fed starving me a serving of beautiful bow-tie pasta with a delicious vegetable medley sauce which included zucchini, tomatoes, and I think mushrooms... very delicious!!

Dessert/snacks: 1 74% organic dark chocolate square, a few hours later a strawberry ice cream sandwich from Aldi, yummy yum and only 130 calories!!! ... after lunch (2:30pm) -- one graham cracker with a bit of reduced fat PB.

Water: man, the cold weather makes me less thirsty for some reason... i really have to FORCE myself to drink, yo

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins: you know, i skipped them bc I usually just take cinnamon, gelatin for my nails, green tea, and acidopholus (for my bowels actually lol), which is the most important, but I think all the beans I ate will do a fine job :-)

Nov. 16 -- "I'll take you back, always"

some lyrics...

The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Though my praise was few
When I fall I bring your name down

But I have found in you
A heart that bleeds
Forgiveness replacing all these thoughts of painful memories
And I know your response will always be

"I'll take you back, always
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back"

You satisfy this cry of what I'm
looking for and I'll take all I can
and lay it down before
The throne of endless grace now
that radiates what's true
I'm in the only place that erases
all these faults that have overtaken me and
I know that your response will always be

"I'll take you back, always
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back"

I can only speak with a grateful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift of your love
I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough

Those words mean more to me than I can say here.


Today's Workouts: Turbo Jam CP1 w/ weighted gloves

Breakfast: banana before workout, after workout lavash wrap with sundried tomato pesto, ricotta, cherry tomatoes, mozzarella, a splash of EVOO, garlic, oregano

Lunch: 1 slice mestamacher fitness bread with chive/onion cream cheese, 1 slice Gouda, 1 thin slice salami.

Dinner: 3/4 cup black beans, sprinkled with a pinch of mexican blend cheese. 2/3 cup brown rice, 1/2 sausage.

Dessert/snacks: ice cream sandwich... who cares what time of day it is, lol :-), 1/2 strawberry frosted poptart before church (11am) ... after dinner four small sugar free oatmeal raisin cookies (ca. 160 calories)

Water: check

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins: check

Nov. 15 ... Christianity throughout History...

I watched the movie "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" last night and it got me thinking... how CRAZY different was Christianity back then!! The "real" Christians, the Catholics, were sooo convinced that God wanted them to kill the "fake" Christians (Protestants), and they really tried to!!! The entire "modern" Christian world of the time was so obsessed with being right and was so ridiculously legalistic... people getting hung and their heads chopped off just for refusing to believe in the Pope and stuff. I started thinking of the evolution of Christianity. How could something so simple as the promise of Jesus have been so corrupted? You gotta wonder what those folks were thinking... did they even READ the Bible where it says "love your enemies"? Crazy. Here we are in an age of extremism when all of us are worried about the fundamental and extremist Muslims and how they are convinced their way is the right way and that it is their divine right to kill everyone that doesn't believe the way they do..... but didn't the Christians have their go at this, too? Granted, it seems a bit more dangerous to more people this time around, but that's only because back then, nuclear weapons hadn't been invented yet. But you can bet your bottom dollar that if they had been, they would have used them to wipe out everybody who refused to kiss the Pope's ass... think Crusades... on crack.

That's all I have to say for today, lol.

Today's Workouts: four hours power shopping. I worked up a little bit of a sweat :-) + 2 miles with Dad

Breakfast: 1 slice mestemacher bread, 1 slice Gouda, 1 thin slice salami, chive/onion cream cheese + one tangerine + 1 cup skim milk

Lunch: SmartOnes enchiladas with extra salsa and a dollop low fat sour cream + baby spinach leaf salad with light Italian

Dinner: Healthy Choice soup (ouch, sodium, didn't think about that...) ... 250 calories + a dollop sour cream and cilantro

Dessert/snacks: midmorning: 1 banana, after lunch: ice cream sandwich... after dinner 1 stick Hershey's Extra Dark chocolate

Water: eh

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins:

Nov. 14 -- Burn

Today's Workouts: most of Billy Blanks Cardio circuit 1, which actually kind of stunk and I don't know if it was me or the workout... + Turbo Jam Sculpt w/ 8 lb dumbbells, MAN it burned today, folks... sweat was just pouring. + Beginner's bootcamp abs.

Breakfast: 1 banana before workout, after workout lavash wrap with sliced cherry tomatoes, shredded mozzarella, garlic, ricotta, sun-dried tomato pesto, oregano. yum!

Lunch:

Dinner:

Dessert/snacks: ice cream sandwich (mid-morning)

Water:

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins:

Stuff...

I have to say... I am really enjoying being able to walk around without my butt jiggling. It is awesome to be able to run and jump without my butt doing its own set of jacks. All those squats are really paying off!

I don't normally do this but I am going to write out what I'm going to do tomorrow. Not relevant to any audience but me, lol. Sometimes I need a plan.

1. Exercise -- ODB first, then short but intense cardio + strength training ...
2. Practice my speech a few times
3. Print out the translation I did today
4. Print out this week's assignment for the Motivation class
5. DO this week's assignment for the Motivation class
6. Work out with Dad
7. Study for a test next week
8. Go to the post office and mail three packages first class with delivery confirmation
9. Meet client on campus to discuss services and eventually exchange services for money (translation lol)
10. Tutor German for two hours in the late afternoon
11. Eat healthy all day (NO JUNK FOOD!!!!!)
12. Be bummed that I missed my friend's birthday festivities ... being your own boss has its pros and cons. Gotta keep the clients happy or you don't make any money.
13. Read the Word.... in German

Nov. 13

Man that Chex stuff, NEVER MAKING IT AGAIN. NEVER. It is just way too good and easy to munch. Let's just say that packing it into individual servings was a waste of my time and detrimental to the environment due to all the plastic baggies I wasted. *sigh*. I won't go into detail. I started my workout at 7:30 bc I was so tired... I ate way too much of that chex stuff. luckily it has tons of fiber so it wasn't completely bad for me, but STILL. STILL! And there are much worse things I could have "binged" on. But none taste THAT good. MAN it is so goooooood.

Today's Workouts: Turbo Jam Punch, Kick, and Jam w/ weighted gloves, Turbo Jam Fat Blaster (no gloves) + Bootcamp Abs challenge (I DID IT!!!!!!!!!) holy crap it hurt so so so so so so bad. And I was glad.

Breakfast: wasnt hungry at all due to the abundance of Chex consumed just 8 hours prior, after workout i ate 1 lavash wrap with 1/2 beef patty, 1 slice american cheese, low fat mayo, ketchup, mustard, onion, relish, garlic. And some Chex. arggggh.

Lunch: chex

Dinner: 15 almonds

Dessert/snacks: --

Water: check

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins:

Nov. 12 -- Stagnant

Haven't written in a few days...but I've still been thinking.

A journey with the Lord can be compared on so many levels to a journey to get in shape. When you commit yourself to Jesus, it's not just for 30 days, six weeks, or as a New Year's resolution. It's for life. People, myself included, set similar fitness goals for themselves. We hear statements of intent like this: "For the next three months, I am going to exercise four days a week so I can lose 30 lbs and look good for the family reunion." ... we fall into the promises of women's magazines that you can look good in a bikini in 30 days. "Five weeks to your best body!" ...

I'm sorry, I hate to burst the bubble here, but it takes WAY longer than five weeks to look good in a bikini. WAY longer. It's a growth process and it takes commitment and consistency. And from a logical standpoint, it doesn't even make sense to exercise for 30 days and then just stop. Over time, you'll gain back the weight you lost and lose muscle you gained. IT TAKES HARD WORK TO GET IN EXCELLENT PHYSICAL SHAPE AND STAY THAT WAY. No dinking around for ten minutes on the treadmill (although it's a start) and expecting to drop major pounds.

The same applies to our walk with Christ. Just like you can't work out for 30 days, stop, and expect the weight to stay off and the muscle to stay on, you can't just occasionally wade into the Word, or do a set of sprints and expect long-term growth. Sure, it's a start, and its important to realize that a lot of the "Get fit in 30 days" gimmicks are actually designed to get you into the habit of exercising for life, not so you get it done and over with.

Over time, consistency wins. If we are consistent in our walk and relationship with the Lord, we will grow! Likewise, if we are consistent in our fitness endeavors, we will increase our fitness level. But watch out! What happens if we work out the same way every day--the same amount of weight, the same speed, the same distance-- and don't ever challenge ourselves? No progress either, right? We just stay the same. The same can happen if we aren't consistently being challenged in our relationship with God...When we increase the amount of resistance on our muscles while weight training, our muscle fibers literally shred, unravel, and rip apart from one another. When the muscles heal, though, they are stronger than before. Likewise, in your walk with Him, allow God and His Word to rip apart your old self, unravel your heart, and make you stronger in your faith. Instead of wading cautiously into the Word, DIVE into it and let it change you.

As stagnant water in the heat of summer invites mold to grow and mosquitoes to breed, so invites the stagnant heart sin to plant its seed; the stagnant body disease.


Today's Workouts: Women's Health total workout in 10 (all 5 segments: 50 minutes) with 8 and 5 lb weights

Breakfast: one banana before workout, after workout leftover spinach onion kugel from yesterday

Lunch: 2 slices healthy french toast (no, really!) + some chex mix dessert i made... packed up the rest, not allowed to have any for a while!!!

Dinner: rest of the Kugel ...

Dessert/snacks: 1 serving of the chex mix (i know, i know)

Water: good

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins:

Nov. 11 -- Veteran's Day

Today's Workouts: part of a Billy Blanks workout + Turbo Jam booty sculpt + abs w/ 8 and 5 lb weights

+ 3 miles with Dad

Breakfast: 1 banana before workout, after workout 1 lavash wrap w/ 1/2 hamburger patty, low fat mayo, red onion, relish, 1 slice American cheese, low sugar ketchup, mustard

Lunch: caesar salad

Dinner: tried a Weight Watchers recipe ... "Spinach Onion Kugel" apparently is very low in fat. I hope that is true.

Dessert/snacks: 1 cheese stick..... 2 tbs ricotta, 1 graham cracker before dinner (VERY hungry lol) ... dessert = one ice cream sandwich, 1 sugar free popsicle before bed

Water: check

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins: check

Nov. 10 -- New Jeans

I think I gotta get over the fact that if I eat badly ONE single day, I'm not going to wake up the next morning 13 pounds heavier. I felt guilty when I ate that pizza and ice cream cake and I kept saying to myself "well, I guess I blew it"... but I didn't!!!! Geez!! An occasional splurge is not going to kill me. This morning I woke up later and feel tired, I think its because of what I ate yesterday, so I'll take it as a reminder that I FEEL BETTER when I eat healthier...

Also... yesterday I bought a new pair of jeans... in a size 4!!! That is a BIG DEAL for me! I'm very excited. I tried on the 6 which I normally wear and they were loose enough I could slide them off without unbuttoning them... but the 4 fit me great!! Even in the age of major vanity sizing, I haven't been able to fit in a size 4 since I was 16! So this is great!


Today's Workouts: Turbo Jam marathon lol ... Kickin' Core + CPRemix + 20MW with 1 lb weighted gloves. . . 95 minutes.
And now I have a migraine. One of the possible causes? Intense physical exertion. Ah, well, at least I burned off that pizza and cake last night.

+ 3 miles with Dad


Breakfast: 1 banana before workout, after workout lavash wrap with 1/2 cup black beans, 1/2 cup salsa, 1/4 cup mexican blend cheese, and a bit of sour cream inside. Attempted to eat a salad.

Lunch: a cheeseburger

Dinner: one 60-cal pita with 8 chopped cherry tomatoes, a pinch of mozzarella, a tbs ricotta, 1 tsp or so sundried tomato pesto, oregano, garlic, splash of EVOO. yum.

Dessert/snacks: ice cream sandwich

Water: so far so good

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins:

Nov. 9 -- Hello, Key West!

Well I made it to Key West!! Finally!! I haven't decided where to go next, so I will stay here for a while. What a trip! I'm actually gonna get to go there in March, probably. Spring break! Yeah!!

Today's Workouts: Turbo Jam CP2 + Kickboxing ab routine from Perfect abs DVD

Breakfast: 1 banana before workout, after workout 2 mini bagels with 1 slice Gouda, 2 slices salami, almost 1 wedge spreadable cheese, a bit of chive/onion cream cheese

Lunch: 7 small swedish meatballs, 1/2 cup mashed potatoes, a cup of roasted tomato garlic soup (we had lunch at IKEA), 3 small squares dark chocolate for dessert

Dinner: 2 slices pizza, 1 breadstick, 1 (probably too big) slice ice cream cake from bruster's LOL... so worth it.

Dessert/snacks: n/a

Water: check

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins: check

Nov. 8

Today's Workouts: Turbo Jam Total Body Blast

Breakfast: 1 bagel, 1 slice Gouda, 1 slice salami, chive/onion cream cheese, 1 tangerine

Lunch: 15 almonds, a few sunflower seeds, 1 apple, one 12-oz pomegranate green tea, later a bowl of mexican vegetable soup (see yesterday for ingredients)

Dinner: ...? i dont think i ate anything

Dessert/snacks: 1 ice cream sandwich, 1 extra dark chocolate stick, 1 cheese stick b4 bed

Water: check

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins: forgot

So worth posting...

I had been wondering what it was that I experienced a few weeks ago. It was like a wave of FEELING swept over me. For so long, I hadn't had any true life flowing through me and no matter how hard I tried, I still felt almost ... dead. Some things would tear me up, sure, and for good reason, like saying good bye to friends, but I don't mean those kind of [sad] emotions... I mean emotions in general. The feeling and awareness that you're alive. Maybe some of you have heard me mention before that I "don't feel like a real person" ... that's changed now, somehow. And until today, I had been calling it, this thing that happened on October 25, 2008, "the transformation"... but I read something today that a good friend of mine had posted on her blog... it's from an anonymous writer. Chew on it.

12 SIGNS OF A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING

1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
2. Frequent attacks of smiling.
3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.
4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experience.
6. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
7. A loss of ability to worry.
8. A loss of interest in conflict.
9. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
10. A loss of interest in judging others.
11. A loss of interest in judging self.
12. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.

- Unknown -


That's exactly how I feel. I feel like something inside me, I guess it's really my spirit has just woken up all of a sudden.

And the things that mattered before just don't matter anymore.

Nov. 7 -- Patience

"God stretches our patience to enlarge our soul."

Yesterday I had a dentist appointment at 3:30... I got there 10 minutes early, had printed the paperwork out online to fill out beforehand and I fully expected to get seen AT 3:30...

...

At 4:30, they finally, FINALLY called my name. I was peeved to have had to sit there while patients who came in after me got their names called. I did not mention these patients when my name was finally called, but I snapped "I could have come an hour later!" The assistant apologized to me and said the man before me had Alzheimer's. She then proceeded to take EIGHTEEN x-rays of my teeth. EIGHTEEN! I have a small mouth and the films she put in hurt very badly, and I could even taste blood... I was fuming but I kept my cool.

I finally got seen by the doc... I have no cavities, but the two spots I was concerned about on two back teeth, though they are not decaying, are abrasions and are probably bc I brushed them too hard over the years... and I need fillings for them so they don't get worse. Guess I got too happy with my electric toothbrush [I now use a regular one]. Anyway, I paid $15 for my appointment which is way cheap in comparison to the other dentist I was going to thats not under my insurance, but the resin fillings for the two spots are going to cost me $215, and fluoride treatment isn't covered under my insurance, so theres another $40... so I have go go back in on the 20th for my cleaning, fluoride treatment and fillings, and it's going to cost me about $250. I know its still cheaper than if I had had it done at my old dentist, but I guess I had it in my head that I would pay the $165 for the year of prepaid stuff and that would be that... I do get a lot of stuff for the $165, and the other things are cheaper, so I still come out on top, but stiiiiiiiiiiiill it sucks to spend my hard earned money on dental care.

Anyway the assistant really tried my patience. I mean really. The whole place did.

I cheered up though, class was interesting and I signed up for an event on the 22nd!! I'm going to do the UCF challenge course!

Plus, I'm down to 135 today, AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!

_______________________


I WILL ARRIVE IN KEY WEST TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!


Today's Workouts: Turbo Jam 20-Minute Workout w/ HB, + 2 Mile Walk n' Tone with 1 lb weights AND walk belt, WOW what a burn...

Breakfast: 1 apple, 1 banana. after workout, 1 banana pancake and 1 regular pancake, with sugar-free syrup and ca 12 oz 2% chocolate milk, 2 slices apple. YUM!

Lunch: a bowl of mexican vegetable soup with a dollop of low fat sour cream

Dinner: barbeque pork on a light bun (bun has 80 calories) with sauce...

Dessert/snacks: after lunch: 60-cal extra dark chocolate stick, afternoon: ice cream sandwich. after dinner: 1 square 72% dark chocolate

Water: gotta step it up...

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins:

Nov. 6

Today's Workouts: Tae Bo Cardio Circuit 2 (1 hr) with weighted gloves

+ 3 miles with Dad

Breakfast: 1 banana before workout, 1 tangerine after workout.... later 3 slices healthy french toast made with egg whites + skim milk, sugar-free syrup. sooo yummy!!

Lunch: barbeque sandwich

Dinner: 1 apple, some bran crackers, 15 almonds or so.

Dessert/snacks: ice cream sandwich after lunch. a cup of hot chocolate (80 cal)

Water: good

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins: check

Nov. 5 -- "Sword": "Word" with an "S" at the front

Today's ODB reminded me that God's Word is sharper than a double-edged sword... Heb 4:12 says "For the word of God is alive and powerful" ... well, I know it's definitely alive, because each and every time I open it, I find something new. How else could one single book remain relevant after so much time? It has to be living.

Today's Workouts: Turbo Jam CP1 + Lower Body Jam (with 8 lb dumbbells)

Breakfast: 1 banana before workout, after workout 1 chicken breast topped with salsa, 1/2 cup black beans, sprinkled with a teeny bit of mexican blend cheese, 1 dollop low-fat sour cream, sprinkled with dried cilantro + 1 baby spinach side salad with light Italian dressing.

Lunch: one 60-cal pita with part-skim ricotta cheese, 3/4 tbs sundried tomato pesto sauce, sprinkled with mozzarella and oregano, drizzled with EVOO... + side salad with spicy ranch dressing

Dinner: a veggie burrito at Tijuana Flats.... black beans, fat free sour cream, low-fat cheese, salsa, rice, wheat tortilla... and way too many tortilla chips.

Dessert/snacks: one 60-cal extra dark chocolate stick

Water: check

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins: check

Nov. 4 -- Super Tired.........

Today's Workouts: attempted 30-Day-Shred Level 3, turned it off halfway through though... I feel kinda weak for some reason, I could not for the life of me find a workout I thought I could actually get through without hating. So I didn't force myself. I'll walk with Dad when he gets home today and focus on getting some school work done so I can chill this weekend :-)

+ 2 miles with Dad (total 38 minutes)... did classic mile and arms mile from the 5DSD

Breakfast: 1 banana, one 60-cal pita with sun-dried tomato pesto sauce, 6 sliced cherry tomatoes, 6 small pepperonis, shredded mozzarella.

Lunch: 1 grilled chicken breast topped with salsa, 1/2 black beans + a dollop of sour cream + dried cilantro

Dinner: one package animal cookies + hot chocolate. terrible, I know.

Dessert/snacks: 1 cheese stick, 1 ice cream sandwich (snack total: 210 calories)

Water: could do better...!

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins:

Nov. 3

I don't have much to say today. I have to study for a test and write a proposal for a new ministry at RR... ODB was about being examples of God's love to others each day... our lives are like holiday catalogs... when people look at my life, does anything pop out at them to cause them to long for what I have been given (Christ's love in my heart) for themselves?

I'm down another entire pound, though... so my current weight is 135.6. Only 5.6 more lbs to go! Wow, that is so exciting!! Plus, a pair of shorts that have NEVER fit comfortably now slide right on! A size 6!

_______________________

Today's Workouts: Turbo Jam Kickin' Core w/ weighted gloves + 20 Minute W/O

+ 4 Fast Miles DVD with Dad

Breakfast: 1 banana before workout, after workout a pita (60 cal) frittata with the following ingredients: egg whites fortified with soy protein and skim milk, + ricotta cheese spread into the pita, 5 cherry tomatoes, a handful of baby spinach leaves, garlic, red onion, s&p. yummyyy

Lunch: 1/2 hamburger patty, chopped, 1 slice American cheese, chopped, relish, low fat mayo, ketchup, a bit of red onion, in a 100-calorie whole grain wrap + 1 whole orange

Dinner: 1 bagel with 2 slices thin salami, 1 slice Gouda cheese, a little chive/onion cream cheese

Dessert/snacks: 1 ice cream sandwich

Water: good

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins: check

Nov. 2 -- Footsteps

In Psalm 119:133, David asks God to "Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me."

That's something I have to ask God every single day! I have to admit that if I don't I'm putting myself at risk... again. As much as I want to forget the stupid things I've done in the past, I can't... just like I learned yesterday... God wants me to know what happens when I put myself in control, lol. How about chaos? Heartbreak? Just to name a few. Sin ruled over me... and when one is already a Christian, I think that's the hardest thing to admit and own up to... as I experienced last week. I think sometimes I just thought of myself as "untouchable".. but it makes sense: Satan works sooo much harder to get a Christian (like me) to turn away from God. Of course those who don't know Jesus don't have to struggle with sin... I hate, hate, hate, HATE to say this... but Satan doesn't care about those people... they don't struggle because he's already got them in his grip.


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Today's Workouts: Turbo Jam CP Remix with 1 lb gloves + 3T (65 minutes total)

Breakfast: 1 banana before workout, after workout 1 tbs RFPB... 1 small chicken breast grilled with 1/2 cup salsa, a pinch shredded cheese, 1 dollop sour cream + cilantro

Lunch: 1 cheese stick, one packet granola (170 calories)

Dinner: 1/2 hamburger patty (ca. 140 calories) on a lite bun (80 calories) with 1 slice American cheese (? calories), relish, red onion, low-fat mayo, garlic powder, ketchup

Dessert/snacks: ice cream sandwich. after dinner: 1 60-cal Extra Dark chocolate stick

Water: going strong

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins:

Nov. 1 -- Getting What I Want + Before and NOW pics...

Okay... today I read about how sometimes, God gives us exactly what He knows we want just so we can see what happens when we put ourselves in charge... this actually answers a lot of questions I've been asking myself... like "did God KNOW I was gonna do that?"

All I know is... I don't like what happens when I'm in charge, lol ...

Weight is continuing to come down steadily!! I'm 136.6 today, and I bought a new bathing suit! I was trying to figure out which one I liked best of the two I purchased (I'm taking one back), so I had Mom take pictures of me. Then it clicked-- hey, I can post these to my blog!

I am just under 137 right now, which is my "happy" weight according to Self.com's Happy Weight Calculator ... which means it's the weight that I'll finally start noticing the changes in my body. And I do!! It's exciting! I'd like to get to 130, but not so that I'm smaller--I'm happy with my size-- but I'd like to turn about 6 more pounds of fat into muscle.

SO... PICTURES!!!!!

Here's me (left) in early August in Key West... I think I was about 145 right here... a snug size 8. I like to excuse the pic on the right as simply a bad angle... and it was, but there's more to it than that. (NOTE: click on the pics to make them larger).

And here I am at the history center downtown... photo courtesy of viktor. Shorts were tight and I kept having to pull them out of my butt, lol... and check. out. those. thighs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And here I am with Viktor mid-August in St. Augustine... I don't want to talk about it. I was about 148 at this point I believe. Maybe even more than that! And a REALLY tight size 8.

And one last pic: a pic of me in my workout wear (with a crab leg... weird, yes-- but I wanted to show my friend how big they were lol).. about 144 here. After I stopped eating all the junk food, 4-5 lbs dropped off of me really quick. But I was really really flabby. (note thighs!!)

...............

AND HERE I AM TODAY! over 12 pounds GONE! I say "before and NOW" pics, because it's not really "after" yet...

Here's me at 136.6 (almost 12 lbs down from 148) in my new tankini... still need more work on the thigh area, but there has been a lot of improvement!

And here I am in my workout gear earlier:

So you guys know I've been doing kickboxing and lifting major weight... I thought this pic really shows the result of some of that work (see left arm ;-)) I LOVE KICKBOXING!!!!!!!!!
My shoulders are sculpted and I have biceps. WHOA! (ignore the silly look on my face, I was really busting a few moves for my mom when she had the camera, lol... got pretty into it!!)




Here's to continued progress!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Today's Workouts: Walk Strong w/ 2 lb weights w/ Dad :-) it's my day off actually... +3. something mile walk with Mom outdoors.

Breakfast: 1 WW bagel, 1 slice gouda, 1 slice thin salami, chive/onion cream cheese

Lunch: 1/2 a hamburger patty, a special sauce I made myself (ketchup, low fat mayo, and some granulated garlic powder), ground flax seed, a few sliced dill pickle, on a whole wheat bun. + romaine lettuce salad with light Italian dressing

Dinner: 1/2 a chicken breast on a whole wheat bun (80 calorie bun), low fat mayo, garlic, flax seed, ketchup, 1 slice provolone cheese + 1 banana with reduced fat PB

Dessert/snacks: mid-morning: 1 granola bar, 1 cheese stick. After lunch: ice cream sandwich

Water: not doing that great today yet. I will change that RIGHT NOW

Daily Vitamins: check

Nightly Vitamins: check