Every day I have to make choices. Every day I have to remind myself of what, or who, is worth my time, effort, toil, and affection. Many times I fail at this. Most days I fail to remember past decisions, and what pain and strife the foolish ones caused me. So I make similar decisions sometimes. Or at least I want to. VERY BADLY. And I tell myself it's not the same. I tell myself it wouldn't be me making the same mistake again. No way, I'm above that, I say to myself.
But how wrong I am! I don't see how I am being deceived. I allow myself to be fooled time and again. I chase the temporary, I long for the fleeting, I lust after the dishonorable.
Why am I so weak? I know the answer to this question and all of the others I've asked myself. I just don't like hearing it. Sometimes I'd rather be ignorant of good. Ignorant of honor. Ignorant of true freedom. That would make me a slave to my own desire, though. No, not me, I say to myself. It's not the same mistake, it's different, I'M different.. I'm above that.
But I have to keep reminding myself how wrong I am.
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