flying time

It's been over a year since God pulled me out of the muck and mire I was in after I got back from Germany... I still can't believe I was ever that person. I've dabbled a bit back in that old life since then, and got a taste of what it felt like, again, and it just wasn't pretty. I've also spent a lot of time thinking and rethinking and wondering if living my life following this Jesus dude was worth all the pain and effort. And I eventually decided that I can't do it without Him if I tried, so yeah, I decided, it is worth it. Also because nothing compares to the hope, the joy, the strength, and the mind-blowing healing that I have found in Jesus. I have tried to find strength in my own effort, in "being a good person" (which I suck at), and it just does. not. work!! I end up exhausted and discouraged and worse off than before. Being a "Christian", I also realized, can also be exhausting if you make it about just "work". I feel God wants us to just bask in his love sometimes, you know? just dig it. Just totally be taken aback by how awesome He is. Not try to prove something to him by how much you DO or how much you KNOW. Cause God doesn't care. I've also given up trying to force myself into being a "better Christian", whatever the heck that is... -- because I can't do it. God can, though, and He will, if I let him.

Came across this prayer again ... ephesians 3, while reading this week... I blogged about it several months back. I love it because it gives all the glory to GOD for the work that is done, not to people. Cuz God doesn't NEED us, but He wants use us, and we just have to let him.

---- I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. ----

INFINITELY MORE than we might ask for or think!!!!!


God has answered a few prayers that I have been praying for a long time. and I don't know why I am surprised. I never know why I'm surprised.


"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." -- Psalm 37:4

It's so true.