Stuff I've written in there lately...
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Whatever the greatest thing is on Earth, the greatest thing we can possibly conceive, God is greater than that.
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I am tired of caring so much about my image and what others think.
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"You and I both loved what you and I spoke of, and others just read of, others only read of the love, the love that I love" (Jason Mraz song)
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Blind faith, to me, is somewhat ridiculous and so I would like to begin seeking the truth with grand effort.
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It's so funny how I have changed in the last year.
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Can't wrap my mind around how we are all equally sinful in the eyes of God no matter what we have done. Can't wrap my mind around how Jesus just makes us all clean... how did I become a Christian, how did I get here? I don't remember choosing to give a shit about why I'm here or how I live. But I do, I do give a shit and sometimes, to be honest, I wish I didn't. And I try to stop trying to do the "right" thing all the time, try to stop analyzing my life, trying to predict the future and manipulate my life in attempt to make certain that all my dreams come true. I just don't remember choosing the hard way.
Really what I'd like to do is STOP worrying my life away, STOP caring what others think. I'd like to love someone without feeling like I have to explain why.
Yeah, that'd be good.
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Let my soul breathe.
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Current Endeavours:
1. get a job
2. buy a place to live
3. convince Lea that she doesn't belong in Australia and figure out how to keep her on this continent when she gets here
4. lose 3 kg
5. graduate from UCF
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What is a conscience?
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I just want to be a real person with real feelings who loves everything that breathes, and smiles because she wants to, not because everyone else is, who believes because she knows why, not because other people tell her why... who can shut out the influences from others that are trying to tell her how to live her life and that there's only one right way to exist.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
because a lot of people are asking... here's why I did it
This is why I decided to become a vegetarian...
((Disclaimer: I don't intend this to start any arguments, this is my own personal choice and opinion. I respect you, please respect me.))
1. Animal flesh doesn't taste THAT good to me. -- I found myself making chicken purely for the protein but covering it with something, like salsa or cheese, so it would taste like something other than ... animal flesh.
2. I don't want to support the meat industry anymore. They are disgustingly cruel to the animals they manufacture and although my refusing to eat animal flesh will not stop this, I don't have to join in. The cruelty really can't be denied, and I got sick of ignoring it... if you don't know what happened to the chicken or the cow or the pig or the turkey before it landed on your plate, watch this: Meet Your Meat
3. I don't really think we were ever meant to eat meat... our teeth aren't even sharp enough like other carnivores'. Think about it, we have to modify meat (by cooking it) in order for it not to be poisonous to us.
... and in Genesis 1 (28-30), it says "God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground. "Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so."
Dominion over animals does not mean we can treat them however way we wish because we're at the top of the "food chain".
4. I don't find ingesting dead animal carcass very sexy.
5. I stopped seeing animal flesh as food and began to see it instead for what it really is... the flesh of abused, diseased, often crippled, and slaughtered living creature. Why do I need to eat that?
6. It isn't very healthy IMO... again, watch Meet Your Meat.
7. I stopped seeing the sense in how it can be okay to manufacture and slaughter thousands of cows, pigs, chickens, turkies, etc. for food, because meat tastes good, but not okay to abuse dogs and cats, use them for shark bait in Mexico, or harvest seals and mink for their fur.
8. I cannot ignore it anymore. I don't think that "meat tastes good" is a good enough reason for me to continue eating it.
FAQ:
Q: Do you eat fish?
A: No; I don't like it.
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Q: Do you eat eggs/milk?
A: Yes, at the moment I do, although in the future I may try to edge some of those items out of my diet, as the animals that are raised to produce those things aren't treated very well at all, either.
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Q: How do you get your protein?
A: I'm in love with black beans.... i like beans a lot actually... so I eat a lot of those... and fortified foods like bread and cereals.
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Q: What about B12?
A: Supplements. And occasional dairy products.
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Q: Why do you eat vegetables? They're living, too.
A: Vegetables are not creatures that can suffer and feel pain and carry (at least not as many) deadly diseases.
Feel free to post any other questions if you have them.
((Disclaimer: I don't intend this to start any arguments, this is my own personal choice and opinion. I respect you, please respect me.))
1. Animal flesh doesn't taste THAT good to me. -- I found myself making chicken purely for the protein but covering it with something, like salsa or cheese, so it would taste like something other than ... animal flesh.
2. I don't want to support the meat industry anymore. They are disgustingly cruel to the animals they manufacture and although my refusing to eat animal flesh will not stop this, I don't have to join in. The cruelty really can't be denied, and I got sick of ignoring it... if you don't know what happened to the chicken or the cow or the pig or the turkey before it landed on your plate, watch this: Meet Your Meat
3. I don't really think we were ever meant to eat meat... our teeth aren't even sharp enough like other carnivores'. Think about it, we have to modify meat (by cooking it) in order for it not to be poisonous to us.
... and in Genesis 1 (28-30), it says "God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground. "Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so."
Dominion over animals does not mean we can treat them however way we wish because we're at the top of the "food chain".
4. I don't find ingesting dead animal carcass very sexy.
5. I stopped seeing animal flesh as food and began to see it instead for what it really is... the flesh of abused, diseased, often crippled, and slaughtered living creature. Why do I need to eat that?
6. It isn't very healthy IMO... again, watch Meet Your Meat.
7. I stopped seeing the sense in how it can be okay to manufacture and slaughter thousands of cows, pigs, chickens, turkies, etc. for food, because meat tastes good, but not okay to abuse dogs and cats, use them for shark bait in Mexico, or harvest seals and mink for their fur.
8. I cannot ignore it anymore. I don't think that "meat tastes good" is a good enough reason for me to continue eating it.
FAQ:
Q: Do you eat fish?
A: No; I don't like it.
------------------------------
Q: Do you eat eggs/milk?
A: Yes, at the moment I do, although in the future I may try to edge some of those items out of my diet, as the animals that are raised to produce those things aren't treated very well at all, either.
------------------------------
Q: How do you get your protein?
A: I'm in love with black beans.... i like beans a lot actually... so I eat a lot of those... and fortified foods like bread and cereals.
------------------------------
Q: What about B12?
A: Supplements. And occasional dairy products.
-------------------------------
Q: Why do you eat vegetables? They're living, too.
A: Vegetables are not creatures that can suffer and feel pain and carry (at least not as many) deadly diseases.
Feel free to post any other questions if you have them.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
My Daily Battle to Avoid Being an Idiot Tomorrow
Every day I have to make choices. Every day I have to remind myself of what, or who, is worth my time, effort, toil, and affection. Many times I fail at this. Most days I fail to remember past decisions, and what pain and strife the foolish ones caused me. So I make similar decisions sometimes. Or at least I want to. VERY BADLY. And I tell myself it's not the same. I tell myself it wouldn't be me making the same mistake again. No way, I'm above that, I say to myself.
But how wrong I am! I don't see how I am being deceived. I allow myself to be fooled time and again. I chase the temporary, I long for the fleeting, I lust after the dishonorable.
Why am I so weak? I know the answer to this question and all of the others I've asked myself. I just don't like hearing it. Sometimes I'd rather be ignorant of good. Ignorant of honor. Ignorant of true freedom. That would make me a slave to my own desire, though. No, not me, I say to myself. It's not the same mistake, it's different, I'M different.. I'm above that.
But I have to keep reminding myself how wrong I am.
But how wrong I am! I don't see how I am being deceived. I allow myself to be fooled time and again. I chase the temporary, I long for the fleeting, I lust after the dishonorable.
Why am I so weak? I know the answer to this question and all of the others I've asked myself. I just don't like hearing it. Sometimes I'd rather be ignorant of good. Ignorant of honor. Ignorant of true freedom. That would make me a slave to my own desire, though. No, not me, I say to myself. It's not the same mistake, it's different, I'M different.. I'm above that.
But I have to keep reminding myself how wrong I am.
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