Man, exercise makes me feel SOOO good!! I can't get over it. I think our Lord is a freaking GENIUS.
Today I walked two miles with 2 lb weights, did the Turbo Jam BOOTY SCULPT with 9 lb and 6 lb weights, and then jogged for 1 mile with 1 lb weights. Wow! I just love it!
Lately I have just gotten myself so mixed up with every little teeny detail about my faith and what *I* think God wants, and just pushing aside what God REALLY wants... that I, like a child, just LOVE Him, serve Him with my life, showing His light and glory to the world.
Kids don't care how long it took for God to create the Earth, they don't care about all these things in this belief system that I, my culture, this society of the western world, has constructed. They don't even know that this HUGE cultural and historical web that straps them into their identity exists. They just believe in the LORD JESUS!!
REALLY... Is there really anything else that matters? I try to remind myself over and over again that there is NOT anything else that matters besides Jesus, but time and time again, still, I let myself get down about not being able to grasp a certain concept or believe an exact way that I am "supposed" to believe. And then I just think, is God up there asking me to relax, breathe Him in, and just believe in Him, love him, have faith in Him, that its OKAY not to be perfect.
It's a hard concept to grasp I think... not having to earn our salvation. Yet day in and day out I feel myself inclined to try to earn it by being someone "acceptable" to God in the things I do. I try so hard and even lose sleep over it, just trying to figure out why I do the things I do, why I am the way I am... but ya know, even if I go through my entire life not accepted by ANYONE because of those things, if all my friends decide I'm a basket case, God still accepts me. And I heard Him whisper that to me this morning.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
Whoa, here I am, ya'll!
I really couldn't think of a better title, lol...
Well, I am proud to say that I only took about three days off in the last month... that's right up to par... I was very strict on my exercise during the holidays, but I did slack off on the eating... all of my clothes still fit and I even bought a pair of Banana Republic jeans after Christmas... size 4!
I feel awesome... my body really is looking good.
It has been hard to stick to strength training recently, because I had a really difficult period this month and it makes me feel very weak... I cranked out the Turbo Jam Booty Sculpt this week, though, and my hammies have been sore for DAYS!!!
Also, even though I was on a Turbo Jam only kick for a month or so, I've been walking away the pounds a lot more recently... the Fat Burning 5 Mile Walk is really really great; I recently did the entire walk with two lb handweights. On days, especially around my period, when I just don't feel like doing complicated, really fast stuff, I love how Leslie can trick me into having a huge sweaty workout anyway. It's really great and I'm so grateful for both of these workout systems!!!
In other news, I'm in love with someone, lol... it's a really, really, really, really, REALLY long story that I will never be able to tell completely to anyone, its so crazy how it all happened and has been happening. As you all may have experienced in reading since October or so, a lot has changed for me... Anyway, his name is Steven and he lives in Germany.... I could write for days all about him, but that would, to me, seem like I'm trying to convince someone of the validity of my above statement of being in love... nope, I don't need to do any convincing this go-around :-) And it's the LAST go-around. You know that feeling... I sure know that feeling... I had it with fitness, too... you know, this is the last time I struggle with sticking to my workouts and keeping these pounds off... I had it with my walk with God... this is the last time I walk away from Him... well, I had it with relationships, too... I had my "last time" with screwing around, being careless, selfish and stupid.
I decided to graduate in August this year instead of December, YES! That means I could be going to Germany as early as September. Whoa. I'm currently working on building my resume... which is a LOT more work than it is here, if that's to believe, lol... I have to have a cover letter, attach a transcript, proof I worked in Germany, proof I graduated high school, info on all the schools I attended (even Columbia Elementary, lol) AND a professional portrait of myself, which I got done today.
So I will start applying soon for positions... as soon as I have everything together... even if its a bit early, I think it's a good idea to start applying now so I can get my face introduced to potential employers... I may have to start with an internship, but that's okay... I think as a backup plan, if I dont hear anything by late June from anyone I have applied to, I will go ahead and get my certification to teach English as a foreign language, so I can do that while I'm there... bc I am going there no matter what when I graduate. That has always been in my head, and there have been many times when I tried to push it out, but it keeps coming back!! You could say its a "dream" I've always had, but generally a "dream" is something you think about in the most idealistic sense... that is not this sort of thing... I know what sorts of things await me when I move there indefinitely. Both good and bad. I'm prepared for it... overall, the benefits far outweigh the costs in the long run, I believe.
I'm still praying, too. The thing I'm praying for the hardest is that Steven be taken away from me if he isn't the one... I trust God 100% that He will do this in His time if He wants to... I have a strong feeling, though, that He isn't going to...because I feel like God put him in my life for a very very very obvious reason. All the pieces fit, its wild, crazy, I know, but this is IT. I do think God is going to make me work to "keep" him, though, ... it's surely not going to be easy, but I think it's worth it, totally doable, and will make for quite an interesting journey, so to speak. All I can say is that I have never before met anyone for whom I would have ever thought the "work" would be worth doing, if that makes sense. "Work", by the way, loosely translates to mean a TON of waiting and seperation, and toleration of no physical contact whatsoever for long, long periods of time. I feel extremely blessed, though, for the ability to get to know someone (we talk ALL THE TIME on Skype lol) in this way without all of the usual distractions, if you get my drift. That's an answered prayer right there.
ODB has been great... still read it each morning. It always gives me something to think about and is a great encouragement to stay in the Word and to strive each day to keep focused on what really really matters in the "big picture"... so important!!
So...
... keep praying
... keep walking
... keep loving
keep on keeping on :-)
Yay for 2009!!!!!!
Well, I am proud to say that I only took about three days off in the last month... that's right up to par... I was very strict on my exercise during the holidays, but I did slack off on the eating... all of my clothes still fit and I even bought a pair of Banana Republic jeans after Christmas... size 4!
I feel awesome... my body really is looking good.
It has been hard to stick to strength training recently, because I had a really difficult period this month and it makes me feel very weak... I cranked out the Turbo Jam Booty Sculpt this week, though, and my hammies have been sore for DAYS!!!
Also, even though I was on a Turbo Jam only kick for a month or so, I've been walking away the pounds a lot more recently... the Fat Burning 5 Mile Walk is really really great; I recently did the entire walk with two lb handweights. On days, especially around my period, when I just don't feel like doing complicated, really fast stuff, I love how Leslie can trick me into having a huge sweaty workout anyway. It's really great and I'm so grateful for both of these workout systems!!!
In other news, I'm in love with someone, lol... it's a really, really, really, really, REALLY long story that I will never be able to tell completely to anyone, its so crazy how it all happened and has been happening. As you all may have experienced in reading since October or so, a lot has changed for me... Anyway, his name is Steven and he lives in Germany.... I could write for days all about him, but that would, to me, seem like I'm trying to convince someone of the validity of my above statement of being in love... nope, I don't need to do any convincing this go-around :-) And it's the LAST go-around. You know that feeling... I sure know that feeling... I had it with fitness, too... you know, this is the last time I struggle with sticking to my workouts and keeping these pounds off... I had it with my walk with God... this is the last time I walk away from Him... well, I had it with relationships, too... I had my "last time" with screwing around, being careless, selfish and stupid.
I decided to graduate in August this year instead of December, YES! That means I could be going to Germany as early as September. Whoa. I'm currently working on building my resume... which is a LOT more work than it is here, if that's to believe, lol... I have to have a cover letter, attach a transcript, proof I worked in Germany, proof I graduated high school, info on all the schools I attended (even Columbia Elementary, lol) AND a professional portrait of myself, which I got done today.
So I will start applying soon for positions... as soon as I have everything together... even if its a bit early, I think it's a good idea to start applying now so I can get my face introduced to potential employers... I may have to start with an internship, but that's okay... I think as a backup plan, if I dont hear anything by late June from anyone I have applied to, I will go ahead and get my certification to teach English as a foreign language, so I can do that while I'm there... bc I am going there no matter what when I graduate. That has always been in my head, and there have been many times when I tried to push it out, but it keeps coming back!! You could say its a "dream" I've always had, but generally a "dream" is something you think about in the most idealistic sense... that is not this sort of thing... I know what sorts of things await me when I move there indefinitely. Both good and bad. I'm prepared for it... overall, the benefits far outweigh the costs in the long run, I believe.
I'm still praying, too. The thing I'm praying for the hardest is that Steven be taken away from me if he isn't the one... I trust God 100% that He will do this in His time if He wants to... I have a strong feeling, though, that He isn't going to...because I feel like God put him in my life for a very very very obvious reason. All the pieces fit, its wild, crazy, I know, but this is IT. I do think God is going to make me work to "keep" him, though, ... it's surely not going to be easy, but I think it's worth it, totally doable, and will make for quite an interesting journey, so to speak. All I can say is that I have never before met anyone for whom I would have ever thought the "work" would be worth doing, if that makes sense. "Work", by the way, loosely translates to mean a TON of waiting and seperation, and toleration of no physical contact whatsoever for long, long periods of time. I feel extremely blessed, though, for the ability to get to know someone (we talk ALL THE TIME on Skype lol) in this way without all of the usual distractions, if you get my drift. That's an answered prayer right there.
ODB has been great... still read it each morning. It always gives me something to think about and is a great encouragement to stay in the Word and to strive each day to keep focused on what really really matters in the "big picture"... so important!!
So...
... keep praying
... keep walking
... keep loving
keep on keeping on :-)
Yay for 2009!!!!!!
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